They say laziness is a curse, and if you could be bothered to find out why you’d discover that laziness is actually one of the vices preached about in the bible. The word the bible likes to favour is ‘sloth’.

Proverbs is especially filled with wisdom concerning sloth and issues warnings to the slothful person. Proverbs tells us that a lazy person hates work: “The sluggard’s craving will be the death of him, because his hands refuse to work” (21:25); he loves sleep: “As a door turns on its hinges, so a sluggard turns on his bed” (26:14). “Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in slave labor.”

Needless to say, there is no room for sloth in a Christian’s life – but then again there is not a lot of room for the undeniable pleasures of a quality jerk off session either, so why not go the whole way and combine masturbation with extreme sloth.

The Autoblow Blast is the world’s first fully automatic blowjob machine. Other than taking the trouble to get off your bed and order it online you have to do only very little to enjoy a toe curling deep throat blowjob while you sit back and do precisely nothing.

Of course you have to lube up first and be sufficiently motivated to get a hard on, but once you see the enticing silicone lips of the Autoblow Blast that won’t require much effort.

The rest is a pleasure cruise, not only are you lying back on your bed doing nothing, you are also getting some exquisite head into the bargain.

So our advice is this. Why bother with labour making hand cranking, when the Autoblow is here to do all the work for you? Don’t bother to answer that, just visit www.roboticblowjob.com and within a few days you can find a whole new outlet for your inertia.

When you slide yourself into an Autoblow Blast you will be thinking about a lot of things, but your sister (See ‘Just think about your sister’) won’t enter into it. In the words of Dirty Harry, the Autoblow Blast is the most powerful blowjob machine in the world, and it’ll blow your head clean off. So you’ve got to ask yourself, do I feel lucky? Well, not if you are thinking about your sister and you’ve got this machine working its magic on you.

You see in one sense Vijay is right. We masturbate to satisfy our sexual urges. We have sexual urges, therefore we masturbate. But unlike so many pump it yourself blowjob machines, we are not asking you to waste precious energy on this activity. All you have to do is sit back and let the Autoblow Blast do its work.

We strongly postulate the theory that Bertrand Russell could have been a great philosopher and a great masturbator with this machine. As he himself once said: “Anything you’re good at contributes to happiness.” He was also a noted lifelong pacifist, and what can be more peaceful than a quiet session with your Autoblow in the privacy of your boudoir. The microbeads ride up and down the full length of your shaft until such time as you just can’t hold back any longer.

Russell also said “Boredom is… a vital problem for the moralist, since half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it.” With an Autoblow Blast working you to ecstasy you’ll be board all right. Stiff as a board.

The Autoblow Blast. Great head for heady thinkers.